i jus couldnt resist entering an entry here right now. cux i hav so much to say, yet no strength to put them into coherent sentences.

yesterday was e worst day of my life. i screwed up everything. he was so important to mi. ive never felt this strong about anyone before. but the wonderful things we once shared, i tink its kinda impossible to rekindle now. why did i hav to b such a class-a jerk? why?

now i understand how it feels to be heartbroken. how it feels to have a crush on someone u know whose impression of you has changed overnight. when he sat next to me on the bus, i was so happie. i relle was. and then when his leg touched mine. and the way he scooted nearer on the seat to watch tv and the way he tilted his head.e last look he gave mi when he sent mi hme.i cnt forget them. i really cant. dunt know why e tears jus keep flowing now.maybe cux i know he probably doesnt even realises the little actions he did had a suffocating effect on me.

why did i hav to be so off that day?

i dunt know why either.but everytime i tink of him and his deep voice, i jus feel this enormous amt of sorrow rise up in me.

i spoilt the day for him, for myself. and i ended the one chance i hav for real happiness.

tolerance was bliss, until 2003-06-15 12:41 p.m.